Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The ass gains better be worth it
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