Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
