So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
