i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
