Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
