D3 body, D1 cock
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i think i have two assholes
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
