I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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