so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
