where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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