I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
