So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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