She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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