My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
