she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
