you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
