do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
