Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
