she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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