im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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