It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
