So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
