You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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