I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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