why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
