he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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