You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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