yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
