Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
