Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just had sex bonerless
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
