Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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