OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
