She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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