Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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