Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
