I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
