I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
