Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
