there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
