You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
