i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
