We named our party play list daddy issues
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
