lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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