i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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