Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
