i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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