if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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