Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
