Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
