I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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