I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
